New invention idea: vibrating tampons
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
