just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize