i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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