I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
His hands were made for my vagina.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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