I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
