He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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