Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
