Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
