whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
