I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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