After last night, I could never be a politician.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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