i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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