What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
