Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
