I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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