I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
