You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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