ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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