I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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