I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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