Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
