He had one of those small greek statue penises
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
