There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
