But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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