Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just saw a hot homeless man
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
