Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
