hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
