Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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