i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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