she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I am one with the molecules
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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