That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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