You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
