Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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