hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
