I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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