butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
