i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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