Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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