The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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