just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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