Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
