everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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