so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
