I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
