STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
