So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
