At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Go christen that room with your naked body.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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