i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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