I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize