apparently the secret to your success is patron
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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