Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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