defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize