Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
