I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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