Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
