She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize