I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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