I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
