so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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