We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize