like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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