that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
