I need to stop coming to work sober
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
