you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize